Personal Development

Self-esteem: How do we strengthen it?

9 ways to help you boost your self-esteem!

Surveys in the USA demonstrate that 2 out of 3 people experience low self-esteem, a phenomenon that may occur to a similar extent in other parts of the world, not just in America.

Low self-esteem and self confidence lead us:

  • to choose unavailable and abusive relationships
  • to avoid the risks, which are required in order to achieve our dreams
  • to be afraid to ask for what we really want 
  • settling for far less than we deserve

Low self-esteem is often linked to our belief that we are not attractive enough, intelligent enough, humorous enough, or simply not good enough in various aspects. In other words, we tend to consistently devalue and undermine ourselves. Isn’t it time to put an end to this? There are indeed methods to enhance our self-esteem!

Ways to boost self-esteem
1. Believe that you are perfect just the way you are. 

This does not imply that there is no space for improvement and growth, but let’s embrace and accept ourselves as we are, at least for a while. Let’s believe that it’s okay to be where we are and that we are precisely where we should be. It’s okay to express our feelings, to be angry, to be afraid, to cry, to be confused, to not always know what we want, to feel tired and lost, to be excited, to be happy, to feel proud. Let’s accept that everything we feel is normal.

Here is an opportunity to take a risk and share something we feel strongly about with someone, something we have hesitated to express for a long time. It’s time to start relieving ourselves of the burden we carry.

2. Start connecting with others.

There will always be opportunities for us to connect with others and become a part of their lives. Whether these individuals are our friends, family, partners, or members of a support group, we can find ways to engage and include ourselves.

Through our association with others, we feel loved and accepted for exactly who we are. This boosts our confidence as belonging to a group and expressing ourselves openly helps foster personal growth for both ourselves and the group.

3. Take care of yourself 

It is essential to find ways each day to take care of our body and nurture our spirit. This can involve activities such as exercise, walking, swimming, getting a massage, enjoying a relaxing shower, practicing meditation, reading, cooking, and any other activity that brings joy and contentment.

It is important to engage in activities that promote relaxation. Let’s take a break from electronic devices for a while. If we desire well-being, it is crucial to dedicate significant time to our inner peace.

4. Make a list of your successes

This will greatly boost our self-esteem. Recognizing our past accomplishments strengthens our self-perception. We come to realize that we are, in fact, capable, intelligent, and possess many other positive qualities we may have doubted before.

The hit list will assist us in refraining from self-deprecation.

And let’s not forget about the small successes, such as participating in a project, graduating from school, obtaining a driver’s license, learning a foreign language, landing our first job, making our first move, raising children, quitting smoking, losing weight, and countless others. Often, because we do them automatically, we fail to recognize their significance.

Usually, when we create lists like this, we tend to search for something significant to deem it a success, and this is one of the biggest mistakes we make. Paying attention to the small victories ensures that we never overlook them. We have all accomplished small yet significant things.

5. Keep a daily success journal and practice in the mirror

The daily diary of our successes, ranging from the smallest achievements to the biggest ones, significantly strengthens our self-esteem. These daily triumphs can include arriving at work or appointments on time, meditating for 10 uninterrupted minutes, completing our exercises effectively, waking up early to pursue our desired tasks, spending quality time with our children or partner, and so on. We often overlook these small victories and fail to recognize them as successes, but that does not diminish their significance. Now that we have an understanding of everything we accomplish in a day, let’s begin documenting them.

When it comes to the mirror exercise, the ideal times to practice it are before going to bed or in the morning upon waking up. These moments allow us to gaze at ourselves and speak words of affirmation about our daily accomplishments. Engaging in this practice can make us feel great. Let go of the stress of appearing like a shopaholic or any other external judgments. After all, who is seeing you? Only you!

So instead of criticizing you, admire yourself. Don’t hesitate to open up and say nice things to you. Also, congratulate yourself for what you have accomplished. Reward yourself, even for the moments you resisted! Whether it’s smoking less, reducing TV time, saying no to something that felt obligatory, or resisting the temptation of a sweet treat, allow yourself to smile with satisfaction and say, “Well done!” Begin embracing self-rewards without a hint of shame.

6. Make a donation, volunteer or help others

Our self-esteem is also strengthened through the help we offer to others, as we start and feel important, doing something meaningful. It’s very important to take care of ourselves but it’s equally important to extend care and support to our fellow human beings.

7. Stay out of the negativity club

Let’s assess our acquaintances and friends. Which of them uplift us and bring joy into our lives, and which ones tend to bring us down?

Who tends to grumble and always finds something to be unhappy about?

Who blames the universe, God, and everyone else for their problems, and who consistently feels blessed?

Who inspires us, and who repels us?

It’s time to distance ourselves from the miserable, pessimistic, and generally negative individuals, and instead, draw closer to the positive, optimistic individuals who support our growth and believe in us.

And if we don’t have such people in our circle, it’s time to seek out new connections.

8.Learn a new skill or enhance your proficiency in an existing one

Striving to improve in something we already know or learning something new significantly boosts our self-esteem. Development and enhancement are closely intertwined with self-esteem. The more we improve, the greater our confidence in ourselves becomes, and the more we believe we can accomplish.

9. Finally ask for what you want 

We often fear denial, rejection, and in general, we hesitate to ask for things, either because we believe we don’t deserve them or because we fear we won’t receive them. It’s time to set aside these fears. If we ask for something and receive a negative answer, one thing is certain: we haven’t lost anything, because even before we asked, we didn’t have it.

So not much has changed, and we haven’t taken any significant risks. However, there are numerous instances where we receive positive answers when we least expect them.

After all, the more we ask and accumulate “no’s” on our journey, the more resilient we become to rejection, and our fear gradually diminishes.



*Photo by Zakaria Zayane 

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