At some point in our lives, we have all experienced an intense breakup.
An undeniable truth is that each of us faces and tries to overcome a breakup, in a completely different way! Another truth is that scientists are still dealing with this issue, as they wish to examine, how our body and mind respond to all of this!
The reason behind it is quite simple: when we experience a breakup, there are ups and downs.
An intense breakup also triggers intense emotions!
We are all aware of this, those of us who have experienced it! We feel as though the ground is suddenly slipping from beneath our feet, especially when it comes to an unexpected and intense breakup! A breakup, that we hadn’t intended to be a part of our immediate plans. The initial thoughts that cross our minds, once we realize what has occurred, are that we will be alone forever and that we will never get over it! This reaction is completely reasonable and normal!
The aforementioned thoughts stem from feelings of pain and frustration, and whether unfortunate or fortunate, they cross everyone’s mind! Perhaps the fact that we are not alone in facing these emotions, and that we all encounter similar situations, is ultimately a source of relief! However the question still lingers remains and demands answers:
Yet there is finally a way to help ourselves, so that we suffer as little as possible;
And the answer is that from a scientific standpoint, everything might be more achievable and less painful.
The researchers in their study concluded that focusing on the negative aspects of the relationship, helps in overcoming a breakup more easily. This apporach reduces, the level of distress we feel. It is also important not to criticize ourselves but to recognize and accept our feelings. Lastly, it’s crucial not to exclusively fixate on the break-up and the negative emotions it brings, but to seek ways to move forward (Langeslag et al., 2018). Researchers also observed that adopting this apporach, not only enhances our coping with the break-up, but also improves our overall mood!
All of this is valid, but each of us operates differently! Therefore, it’s better to try and determine, which of the aforementioned apporaches is more suitable for us. During a break-up, what really matters is to be present – observers of both body and mind! Being aware of what is occurring within us, enables us to identify what can provide assistance.
And let’s remind ourselves that if we don’t prioritize helping ourselves first, no one else will!
Reference:
Langeslag, SJE, & Sanchez, ME (2018). Down-regulation of love feelings after a romantic break-up: Self-report and electrophysiological data. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 147(5), 720–733. https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0000360